Completions Can Weaken Your Winning Recipe And Offset Disaster

AS A CHILD you decided that you were not extroverted enough to succeed in the world. So you created a winning recipe to help you cope.  Today the recipe allows you to hide inside a socially acceptable way to be – concerned, depressed, happy, nice, or serious. Or any of the thousands of other ways introverts try to be to achieve success.  For example, my recipe is to be process-driven by building step by step procedures to cope with life.

Post #19 addressed the wisdom of turning a disaster into an opportunity instead of following the same tired advice that your recipe promotes.  Here we talk about the value of attaining small completions. After a disaster they are an effective way not only to get things done but also to cope emotionally.

One of the worst effects of a disaster for introverts is that it unleashes chaos.  In contrast, most of us like to keep things tidy. We have long found that disorder tends to create drama and the resulting overstimulation is acutely painful. 

Few things in life are as capable of generating bedlam as a Category 5 hurricane.  On August 24, 1992, one named Andrew slammed into South Florida and destroyed the home where my wife Sandy and I lived.

How I Discovered The Completion Solution

JUST AS SANDY and I were beginning to cope with the aftermath of declaring bankruptcy (see Post #19), Hurricane Andrew barreled into Miami.  We were ordered to evacuate so with a few possessions we fled 40 miles north in our tiny Dodge Colt to Hollywood, Florida, where Sandy’s sister and brother-in-law took us in.  We and our four children were all safe in different locations.

During the storm 18 inches of stinking bilge from Biscayne Bay flowed into our Miami house.  Large chunks of the roof got ripped off and now sat in the back yard, allowing torrential rain to fall on furnishings throughout the home.

A few days later we went back and managed to salvage more than we expected, but otherwise we lost almost everything.  The devastation and the uprooting of our lives were so appalling that for a time we were confused about what to do first. 

I in particular was numb, because my winning recipe always called me to be process-oriented.  It was now insisting that I prioritize things before acting, advice that in such a situation was paralyzing.

But with Sandy’s help I abandoned that approach.  She said it did not matter what we did first.  There was so much to do that whatever we did would help.  She was right, and her advice got us both in action almost immediately. 

Even more importantly, it helped us to discover a key secret to recovering from a disaster: to get small, frequent completions.  Accomplishing even the tiniest task, such as hosing off a bicycle, or putting a pile of wet clothes in a van, or retrieving a treasured old photo from a pile of muck, gave us enormous pleasure.   

The joy of getting one small thing done after another kept us going for days. Eventually we managed to leave Miami and start new lives 300 miles to the north in Gainesville, Florida. 

The solution to the hurricane had not been to listen to my recipe, but simply to aim for completions.  Doing that released positive feelings within us, allowing us to walk away from everything, relieved and even a little content.

Unpacking The Completion Solution

SOMETIMES WHAT WORKS is to do the exact opposite of what your winning recipe tells you to do.  This is particularly true in a disaster, a situation where being courageous, flexible and creative are typically more important than being however your recipe always tells you to be. 

When you have no idea how to cope with the mountain of chaos after a disaster, seeking small completions may be the most courageous, flexible and creative thing you can do.  It has a double benefit:

• Emotional resilience.  Restoring tiny amounts of order is intrinsically satisfying, especially to introverts.  The endorphins that it releases tend to build on themselves so that you can actually feel giddy from the experience – even when you are standing in the middle of a train wreck.
• Practical results.  Small completions eventually allow you to get things done. Not in a straight line, but with zigs and zags over time that eventually clean up parts of the mess.

For Sandy and me, completions were the unsung heroes of our entire Hurricane Andrew experience.

How To Use Small Accomplishments To Overcome A Disaster

1. Desensitize yourself.  Accept that just to look at (and smell!) the aftermath of a natural disaster can overstimulate you to a painful degree.  But keep looking at it and walking around in it until the shock of it gradually wears off.  Every day, when we waded through the slime in our ruined house, the fetid odor hit us in the face.  But after a few minutes our noses adjusted and we hardly noticed it.

2. Get into action.  It does not matter what you do first or in what order.  Just pick something up and get started. The more you complete one small task, then another, and another – randomly, without thinking – the more you will start to feel better and make progress.

3. If you are able to, work in spurts.  Stay at it until a sense of overwhelm returns, which it probably will.  For example, we lasted only an hour or two on each trip down to our ruined house.  Even with lots of help from friends and family we could only stay at it in the heat and humidity for so long.  Recognize your limit, then go back and hit it the next day.

When coupled with the suggestion in the previous post, namely, to turn the disaster into an opportunity, achieving small completions can bring an even more powerful result.  In our case we knew the hurricane was our ticket out of Miami – a move we long had wanted to make – so every item we retrieved and cleaned moved us one step closer to that dream.

I Invite You To Overcome Your Disaster Using Completions Today

• What was your disaster?  How did achieving small completions work for you?  If you would like us to consider sharing your story with The Satisfied Introvert community anonymously, please email it to me at thesatisfiedintrovert@gmail.com.
• How can I help you to achieve small completions? Please go to the Contact page and enter your name, email, and questions. I cannot answer everyone but will do my best – especially if the answer could benefit others.
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Welcome to the energy that comes from attaining

small completions after a disaster, and the

help they provide in recovering

from chaos

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